Dreaming of coexistence 

The last few weeks have been very challenging and it is a massive struggle for me. I’m admittedly an emotional person and wear my heart on my sleeve and maybe if I wasn’t I’d have been able to cope better but I do love myself for who I am and the choices in faith which I have made. I blogged previously about people advising on religion out of love which I do truly believe but it is an emotional rollercoaster and I’d never underestimate how anyone feels about others questioning or disputing their new found faith. This is why any faith/religion/lifestyle is something you need to be ultimately passionate about before identifying as someone following such.

In my life I’ve had to learn to live with a severe form of depression which impacts my emotions so when I made this huge choice to identify as a Hindu because my beliefs and lifestyle has always married in with this faith and lifestyle. I never imagined just how much my emotions would be effected or what I would experience, I really thought the world, especially England had moved forward where as long as an individual is happy and loving, beliefs or religion of that person is accepted and supported, I guess the expectations were mine rather than that of society. 

There are so many people, me included, who think the style of Indian clothing absolutely beautiful and what I wear now has changed not because of my religion but because every person on this wonderful earth should feel beautiful. Nothing I now wear degrades who I am as a person nor do I wear anything just because I feel that I have to. However because this clothing is not fitting in with the expectations of British culture, I have experienced not so flattering looks and comments which I always address with a smile because I understand for others it is unusual, it is ok to find something unusual but it’s so important to embrace differences, when someone can feel beautiful in themselves it is a wonderful thing.

My new identity has opened my eyes up to injustice and disrespect between many things and as a person it hurts me to see it even when it doesn’t involve me because it’s unkind and I feel everyone has the right to happiness. If a person is kind, treats people with respect and has morals where they wouldn’t hurt others, no matter what faith, dress code, sexuality etc they identify to, its a good thing.

Everyday I read something in the news which is detrimental to certain religions and I really wish my one voice would make a difference, but it won’t. 

Coexistence is my dream.

Freedom through speech 

Throughout our lives we go through things which make us happy or sad, free or confined, accepted or rejected, in fact so many opposites that I’d bore you if I listed them all. The thing is we see things on an individual level, no two stories of the same thing are the same and this reflects very obviously when we speak about faith.

A great deal of emphasis is put on gossiping, it is really spoken badly about within some religious surroundings but what is it really about? 

I have a friend who sometimes finds their faith journey very confining and likes to just have a bit of a vent to me which I take how it is but I’m reluctant to say this is gossip, how can the feeling and emotions of a person be seen as gossip? Why are people given a dressing down and made to feel so wrong in their religion for having such emotions and being able to share this with someone?

Quite often the sad thing is there is still this fear within people, that their narration of feelings makes them an outsider or a failure within their faith, so much so they hide what is really going on in their life, head etc from the people they should be turning to for guidance. We are still human and I really do believe that it’s not just about loving yourself but to be close to God you must accept and get to know everything about yourself, God doesn’t look at you and see your failures. It’s hard to see and hear that someone feels confined and afraid in their religion and the expectations they feel they are failing at, however sometimes anybody can release them from these feelings just by allowing them to talk, without judgment, the right and wrong speech doesn’t help to free them of such feelings, it doesn’t help them accept themselves for who they are and how they perceive things. 

Putting a label on a persons story/narrative by saying it’s gossiping actually makes that person feel that their experience is wrong and invalid.

Listen with love for each individual, the truth is each person is fascinating because we are all so different and even if our key beliefs are the same every single person has a different take on things meaning you can really learn a lot, my favourite is listening to people with other beliefs because it’s inspiring. 

Be loving, Be inspired and Be inspirational 
Love to all

Week of stillness

This week has been still regarding everything faith related. At the start everything is like a whirlwind, the joy from finding My Fit, the fear of how people will take me and the total positivity that a Hindu lifestyle and reading about it has brought me and is still bringing me.

My last blog mentioned about me buying some material to cover my dressing table, which I now have, but making it perfect for my holy place for Puja is not as easy as I thought it would be. The high standard is a must but that is probably due to my bad habit of perfection I’ve got to a point where it needs finishing when I feel calm. So…….. I have my Puja bits but couldn’t afford the plate, bell and all the bits which are significant for my prayer, it’s like being in a state of limbo because I’m keen to do it right for God, but I’ve managed to now order my final bits 🍾🍾

My quest to get help and advice from other Hindus in my area is still no further forward which I’m sad about but I know life is a challenge for many and now the children are on their holidays from school, people will be very busy. My beliefs aren’t going anywhere so I will carry on my reading and try to teach myself things, but if in doubt, YouTube is an amazing thing and has already taught me things.

I need to reboot my spirituality and get closer to God rather than worry about imperfections, I guess that is a thing that many humans feel, we have this passion to give God perfection but can’t get anything perfect enough. I just hope to use the next few days to be enlightened, find a focus and learn, then be able to share a blog which people may find hope from.
Love to you all, thank you for being amazing x

With a Heart of Love

So today was a very important to me, I was scared and anxious about going to do my volunteering because I’m aware and understanding that me focusing my lifestyle around Hinduism is no longer in line with the beliefs of those I work with, and use to attend church with, after all the shop is run by the church. I have a deep love and respect of each person especially those I work with and I didn’t want to cause any offence with bindi, sindoor and more comfortable Indian style dress but these are symbols of what I believe and my individuality.

Today went really well and I felt so blessed with their respect for me. A lovely woman of God was taken aback by my newfound lifestyle and spoke about what the Bible teaches, I felt a little uncomfortable but told her how much I respect Christianity and sat and listened, however I said that this is my choice and my individual beliefs are and always have been Hindu, I just never realised until recently.

Before today I desperately tried to get information on the correct way to deal with this situation, but couldn’t find any advice, so it was hard to know what to say. However on reflection I am hoping I dealt with it well as I know that this lovely lady and others are speaking what they believe out of love, they don’t mean harm and the Bible teaches Christians to share Gods word and she’s right to be passionate about her faith. 

The God given wisdom today has been of benefit and I have no doubt I will continue to face situations like today. Sometimes we have to look at a situation and break down our emotions, it is natural to fear a little uncomfortable however we must make sure that this is not interpreted into offence because that causes bad feeling. When someone is passionate about their faith they want to guide you to love and where they find love and hope. 
Love to you all

Getting organised 

Had a few days off my blogging to get some much needed organising done. When I started looking into Hinduism I didn’t really know how Hindus go about worship and much more besides. 

I’ve read quite a few things from various sources and although I get the impression that I won’t be judged however I go about my spirituality but something I promised myself and God was that Hinduism will have great meaning to me and be a lifestyle not a label.

I’m a bit of a messy bug, that I won’t deny, and a junk collector, no word of a lie, my dressing table was piled with stuff which has never bothered me before. However, I wanted to create a place for my Puja/Pooja which is clean and holy, my dressing table is the only suitable place for this, I’m just unsure on the fact it has a mirror on, but I’m going to look into this. 

Dressing table clean, junk sorted for charity and it only took a few hours.

Today my Pooja kit arrived off eBay but awaiting a nice table covering to get here. I did open the kit and it is very confusing to me, as a learner, plus the inlay leaflet is in Sanskrit so unfortunately I’m unable to understand any of it.

Yesterday my Vedas arrived along with the Tulsi Ramayana, very big books and a great deal to read and learn but I’ve got to start somewhere. 

I put a post on a local Facebook group asking if any Hindus in the area would be able to offer me some guidance but I’m still awaiting a reply, I really do hope that someone can help because I want to learn and the best way is through meeting other Hindus.

So there’s my boring few days, tomorrow is going to be a massive day for me and I’m anxious about it, I will blog all about it tomorrow.
Love to you all

Personal Beliefs meeting my fit

So far I’ve saved my blogging for the early hours, it’s that time where I have a million things to think about but considering I’ve had a pretty good day I’d post at a more normal time of day.

I’ve ranted and raved about how amazing this hindu lifestyle has fitted my beliefs but not actually said why, mainly because I’m not a preachy sort of person. I can only speak as an individual, that this is right for me but by no means am I saying anything to convert or push my beliefs on anyone, everyone is different and I embrace differences.
I got this “Hinduism for Dummies” book, my dad kindly bought me it after I expressed my interest in wanting to know more about the religion (although to me it’s a lifestyle more than religion). The first thing that I’m not very good at is the language used for certain things because I’m English through and through but I will get use to it because it’s more respectful to Hinduism to use the correct sayings but please bear with me, I’m only at the very start of this journey.

The best way I can approach the key beliefs is how I understand them right at this moment and I am open to constructive criticism to help me learn more. Each one of the key things are just so very deep I’m not here to go into detail because this blog is just to speak about my thoughts into my fit rather than give any teachings about Hinduism, no matter how slight, I’m still a baby when it comes to the teachings.

Firstly, Brahman, the absolute high being, in my eye there is and has always been and will be a supreme, an awesome God, who gives every bit of wisdom to us and especially those giving other Hindus the knowledge and spirituality to teach people. The ultimate truth and reality, the only truth and reality.

Secondly, Moksha, it’s the persons soul being united with Brahman. Moksha is the truth and reality, I long for that knowledge and true connection and now I feel and believe it will happen, I have a passion, a passion of love.

Thirdly, the Vedic writings are the sacred texts, for me this isn’t as easy as being brought up in the culture I was, it’s not just one book, it’s many. However I don’t believe for a second that makes them any less relevant, I’ve just got so much to learn because I want to know everything these say, I’m hoping I can connect with other Hindus soon because that’s probably the best chance for me to learn. Don’t get me wrong I’ve looked up stuff but that’s only given a slight glimpse at the teachings and to me that’s not good enough, I want to be enriched, I’m that sponge who wants to soak up as much as i can.

Fourthly, life is very much a cycle, by this I mean there is no beginning or end, I do believe that reincarnation is how this happens. My first thoughts when I learned this in school I thought it was a bit odd, but looking at it 20+ years on, I totally get it and have no doubt in what I now know and what I know I will learn more about.

Fifth, karma, I’ve always been very much a believer of this and it plays a massive part of reincarnation. Now I’ve always let actions of others get to me, I’ve genuinely only ever wanted to care about people and love people however I know I’m far from perfect and I’ve hurt people for my own silly desires etc. The best thing looking into karma has done for me in just a few weeks is I am responsible for my karma and not for the karma of others, to think this way is as though a burden has been lifted.

Sixth, Dharma, means that we behave in an acceptable way, in a way set out in the Vedic texts. I guess this reminds me of what my parents always told me about treating others right and respecting others, by others I’m also referring to the world, animals etc. I totally agree and I know some Hindus are vegetarians but I guess that’s a lifestyle thing i need advice from other Hindus about, I do love animals but I’m not a vegetarian, which makes me feel a bit of a hypocrite so I know with guidance from others and Vedic texts I may or may not choose a different way of eating.

Finally for now, tolerance and when I read about this as being important I was ecstatic, some may think that I’m over exaggerating but trust me, I’m not. People who know me well know how happy that one word and meaning meant to me. Who am I to say what others should believe? Wear? Say?….etc. I’ve always been so open because we are all different. When I was reading some of the history of Hinduism I read about the Christians coming to India to share the gospel and the Hindus wrote the Bible in Sanskrit so it could be read. How awesome is that? I said to my husband, that’s the sort of thing I’d do, and it totally is, how inspiring is that part of the history? It still makes me smile. I see the beliefs of others, and yes that includes atheists etc in this way, Imagine just one ocean, just think how many rivers would lead to that ocean, I see God as that ocean.
That’s me almost done for now, I just really want to say that these are my truths matched to Hinduism rather than muddling my truths to fit in with Hinduism (if that makes sense). I was born a Hindu, I just never realised it, this is a whole new chapter for me because as you now hopefully see, I never chose my fit, I found it.
Love to you all

Thank you so much for reading 

Day 1 of blogging.

Well I’ve told you a little about myself so this is the start of my journey, blogging to get it out of my head hoping that there’s a chance this may someday help another person, one way or another.

I remember when I became a practicing Christian, I first went to church and then read the Bible, makes sense in a way because I guess that’s relatable for other people. It’s the theory of watching and learning which makes what’s said in the Bible easier to understand. The thing is I’ve not been to a temple, in fact I need to catch a train to get to one so it’s just not that easy. However, from the minute I was interested in Hinduism I started reading, my first book was from ‘The Dummies’ collection, which was a totally eye opener. It’s that lightbulb moment where you read the key beliefs of a faith and there is absolutely no disputing that I’ve had Hindu beliefs all my life, I just never knew it! Just like many others, I got taught religious studies at school and that was while I was attending church, but I look back and see that (most) religion does not brainwash people or make them closed minded, we have got to take that responsibility on ourselves. I understand that there are many sects which do base themselves on control but it is not them that I am referring to. If anyone is in a place which encourages free will then I think we do need to look on ourselves, HOWEVER, the way we approach (or not) anything is a great deal to do with our individual cultural ‘norms’. How we were brought up has a massive impact on future choices and I admit that at no time was I introduced to what it really means to be a Hindu, I guess years ago I couldn’t make the choice that I have now because quite frankly i thought it was a religion that came from India, had lots of Gods and celebrated different things, as though it was mainly exclusive for those who have Indian/Pakistan etc origin. That’s how I thought as a teenager, how wrong was I?

Anyhow, so here I am, knowing I’m a Hindu which is great because I am happier because things make sense to me, but one thing I’m missing is other Hindus, I have no watching and learning and it’s tough. It’s even harder for the fact that like I mentioned I have got a great deal of Christians I totally love and respect, so a bit of support and guidance would be great because it can be really discouraging especially when I’m an emotional person and always strived to be a people pleaser, but this is me, my beliefs haven’t changed, I’ve just found my fit! I don’t want to upset anyone, make someone feel I will see them in a bad light etc because it’s really the opposite, my personality hasn’t changed, but my identity has. 

I’m just at the very start of this, I’m learning and it is going to carry on being difficult because this is a life changer and I want to look, listen and learn. I’m not ashamed of who i am or what I believe because it’s right for ME.

There’s so much more I want to put but I’ll save it for another blog.

Love to you all